I am a christian and I am transgender

I am a Christian who also happens to be transgender. Not the other way around.

A christian who also happens to be a transexual woman.

i know and feel the presence of God in m life everyday.

As any who read my stories you will readily see that i am not perfect. i am learning and growing every day. Hopefully for the better.

i don’t believe that it is my place to judge anyone. That is God’s job at some point in every ones life. Although some people make this belief hard for me at times.

i do have my convictions on this subject but will not and would not expect all to understand or agree with.

i believe God through his angles has saved me many many times over the years.

i believe Jesus is my savior and that God is loving, gracious, forgiving, and always there to greet me with open arms. God leads and Jesus paid the price for me.

i never gave up on God cause he never gives up on me. Maybe he helped me to my epiphany, my ‘Ah Ha Moment’ when my internal war ended and i accepted myself.

God made me, for what ever reason he made me this way, a transexual woman.

Why me? i don’t know.

However God has a plan for me and for everyone. We are who we are for that reason.

So maybe it would be more true to say, Why not me?

And after all i’m not done yet. He is still guiding me to fulfill his plan.

This is my spirituality, no one elses. My beliefs.

[A re-post I wrote from another site]

My cravings

It’s amazing! I spend most of the month wanting both of theses … sex and chocolate.

Many times in equal amounts.

However, for 10-14 days a month … all I can think about is sex. MEN!

When I do I usually eat more chocolate.

Been this way as long as I can remember. When I try to repress the desire for sex.

I eat more chocolate.

Definitely not helpful to the waistline.

MEN! Chocolate! SEX! Chocolate! WONDERFUL. DELICIOUS!

Is there some kind of link between sex and chocolate? Hormonal? Emotional?

I’m not sure, I just know I love both.

Is It Sex or Chocolate?

You decide!

[A re-post I wrote from another site]

It’s true. I’m attracted to men.

Some men more than others.

I do look at men and check them out. It’s just so natural.

There are times when our eyes meet and I see a man looking at me and he is smiling at me for some unexplainable reason …

I can feel my body quiver, in a good way. Something deep inside of me is ignited.

I can feel my face and body flush and my eyes feel like they light up. He’s still looking at me and smiling.

That’s when I feel a sigh coming from me. Out of my mouth, yes!

He just looks at me, doesn’t even touch me.

I don’t know what is going on within me or why, but it is such a nice feeling.

Oh, so nice!

[A re-post I wrote from another site]

I’m not your ordinary girl

Read these lyrics one (Anika Paris, I’m No Ordinary Girl — http://www.metrolyrics.com/im-no-ordinary-girl-lyrics-anika-paris.html) and love this part:

I’m no ordinary girl, in an ordinary world
I’m no plain Jane, Mary-Ann, or Suzie-Jan, or Eleanor
And as strange as it may seem, I’ve got a pocket full of dreams

Yes, I’m no ordinary girl.

I am a T-girl. I have a little something extra.

I’m not an ordinary girl but I am a girl, a woman.

And I love it that way.

A bit of a Geekette –

I laugh, a lot –

I really want to be the girl next door –

I can be happy or emotional and even cry .

I am different and I am happy with my being different.

[A re-post I wrote from another site]

Some thoughts on being transexual

I am a transexual, specifically a transwoman.

Transwoman is a term to separate me and those like me from being genetic women. A state of birth that some are into defining oneself.

I respect all women, transexual and genetic.

I don’t really like the word ‘tranny’ as to me it is like calling a woman a ‘skank’ … and I don’t like that either.

I do not want to be a porn star or act like one.

I can see and hope that someday I will be a role model for someone else … and what to project the best for them/all to see.

I am a woman, regardless of my parts. I was born that way, a woman in a man’s body.

I am in control of my life and my destiny.

My soul, my essence, my being is female.

I am a woman.

[A re-post I wrote from another site]

A wonderful statement about women.

The Beauty Of A Woman
The beauty of a woman
isn’t in the clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries,
or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman
must be seen from in her eyes;
Because that’s the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman
isn’t in a facial mole;
But true beauty in a woman,
is reflected by her soul.

It’s the caring that she cares to give,
the passion that she shows;
And the beauty of a woman
with passing years only grows.

Authorship is variously attributed to the following authors:
Maya Angelou, Ralph Fenger, Audrey Hepburn & Sam Levenson

On being happy … 5 for me

T hings that make me happy (a short list)

1. Hugs and smiles. (Giving and receiving)

2. Seeing the entire family at the dinner table.

3. Seeing my children happy.

4. Seeing a handsome man. (Well maybe a happy daydream here)

5. Shopping. (Doesn’t matter for what … clothes, groceries, whatever)

Other little things …

a fast internet

being a woman

being alive

there maybe some things missing but all in all … I’m happy.

[A re-post I wrote from another site]

My one sadness

I want to be pregnant. A life-long desire for me.

I wish I was pregnant. Pretty much every day I have this thought.

I dream about being pregnant. At least once a week.

I would love being pregnant. Absolutely, positively love being pregnant.

Alas, that can never be. I can’t become pregnant, a physical impossibility.

My most heartfelt desire can never be. Just makes me feel sad.

My desire can be ignited by so many things.

When I was small playing with dolls I always felt as though they were my babies. It felt natural caring for them. Many commented on how good a mother I was, caring and protective. These days seeing a baby will light my desire to have a child.

To feel that child growing inside me, to nurture that child. My baby. I believe it would be the most amazing feeling in the world. My belly growing, feeling my baby kick, seeing the baby on ultrasound, hearing the baby’s heartbeat … something amazing and wonderful inside me. A miracle.

Is it an internal clock that ticks away. Possibly not because some women do not have this desire. I think that maybe has more to do emotions, something instinctual within someone. A maternal desire to make babies, must have to do with emotions.

I’d gladly have the mood swings, morning sickness, the cramps, frequent bathroom trips, feeling tired, food cravings. Why not I have them anyway many days, just regular hormonal swings and things.

Being pregnant is a desire that burns brightly within my soul accompanied by the sadness of know it can never be.

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform. ~ Diane Mariechild

[A re-post I wrote from another site]

I love fashion

I love clothes. Dresses, skirts and blouses, good fitting pants and tops, nylons, lingerie and high heels. Oh and accessories are fun too!

I love clothes, I really do. I always have since I was little. Women’s clothes are just spectacular. All the varied and vibrant colors and the many materials. Just glorious!

I love how they feel on me and how I feel wearing them. It’s a mind thing I guess that puts an additional touch of femininity in my mind. And I do like feeling feminine.

Most of my life I have worn clothes that have an androgynous look to them. But for the right occasions and at the right time I have worn the perfect dress and heels. Just not often enough.

I don’t spend a lot of time on my clothes on a day-to-day basis, however I do love to shop. Window shopping. At the mall. Even shopping at a grocery store or roadside stand is exciting for me.

When I buy, I know my limits. I know what is in my range and what is not. Price wise and other wise. I look for and will buy clothes from all kinds of different sources. Some are name brands and some are not. Plus, I just love to find a deal.

I enjoy envisioning the combinations of various articles, that is thrilling in itself. It’s not about looking perfect or dressing to impress … unless that is the stated objective of the moment. No, its a creative outlet for me.

An aspect of myself I truly enjoy.

 

All ladies fashion interests me. Not the designer stuff but the nice everyday things you can find locally.

After all I am a women and we do like clothes and shopping … among other things.

I am very fortunate

I Love Being A Woman!

cause I can be soft and feminine.

cause I can be successful in business.

cause I can be independent and some days still love being pampered.

cause I can vent things rather than keeping them bottled up inside, not hiding my emotions.

cause I can feel feminine as it it a state of mind, and the clothes will heighten that feeling.

cause I can balance roles as career-woman and homemaker, employee and boss, as well as (I hope) someday girlfriend and partner.

cause I have a new accessory growing … boobs!

cause I have curves and soft skin.

cause I can smell fruity or flowery when I want.

cause I can go shopping when and if I want to.

cause of the feeling of shaved legs and silk/satin nightgowns.

cause I don’t hide caring and nurturing.

cause I can be sensitive and considerate of others.

cause I love and appreciate beauty … every day.

cause as a woman I can take control indirectly, letting the man think he’s in charge.

cause of high heels, nylons, dresses and sexy undies.

As opposed to all the opposites which I really can’t stand.

Being a woman is rather powerful I think in a very subtle way and I like that.

When I have a brand new hairdo With my eyelashes all in curl, I float as the clouds on air do, I enjoy being a girl! ~ Flower Drum song, 1959

Yes and for some reason I am accepted by my family and peers and friends.

Maybe they just think I’m eccentric.

But I know I am a woman. Glad of it and proud of it!

[A re-post I wrote from another site]